it's been so long. huh. obviously, i'm not here very much. i've moved around here and there, but i think i've finally landed on tumblr and i'm staying there. it's good for what i need it to be.

http://cliuless.tumblr.com

it's a trip, i know. it's okay tho.

we've learned to play the ignore game. that game where you pass each other by and pretend like you didn't see each other, so you can just move on without an awkward, fake conversation. i've just about lost faith in this. so maybe i don't have friends anymore. not real ones, anyway.

and i hate to think it, but maybe i'm just deluding myself with the thought that it'll be better in college. maybe it will be. but right now, it just hurts. right now, i just want to grow up and move on with my life. i want to have a job and have my own apartment, and not worry about whether or not i'm going pass this bs class, or what this person thinks of me. i'm done with this. i really am.

one year, two months.

I've long said that Stuy is a vastly overrated school and apparently the British agree with me! This feels like a validation for what I've stood for about the last year and a half. A consulting firm recently graded Stuy as just an average school based on the fact that most teachers just stand and deliver and there's poor communication between students and staff. Amazing! But I never knew that we needed to hire a consulting firm to tell the administration that. They could've just hired me. I probably would've done it for free, too.

they're soooooo cute. cutest couple ever. oh man.

i'm committing more adultery with wordpress. what a horrible person i am.

don't worry. most of my idiocy will still be here. and there is quite a lot of idiocy to share.

anyway.

http://xcaliginous.wordpress.com
no content yet, but check back at the end of the week for some good pseudo-intelligent writing. my summer reading list!

my brother's hilarious.

dad: what'd they do [at the laugh factory], charles?
charles: make me laugh.

I generally like giving recommendations. My advice is usually sound and pretty safe to follow (and if I don't feel like it's foolproof I disclaim it like there's no tomorrow). Favorite thing to recommend? Hands down, cheap food.



Hey, that was pretty fun. Next up, Bay Ridge? Though the eats don't get terribly cheap hereabouts.

i need to work out this summer. i'm not hugely disgusting but i feel like i'm on my way there. and a trip to the mall sufficiently scared the crap out of me. have you seen what americans can look like? it's disgusting. they waddle and jiggle and ugh. if i ever want to do crazy things like ride motorcycles or get my scuba certification i definitely need to get in shape. this summer! gonna do it!

speaking of summer: 11 MORE SCHOOL DAYS. yesyesyesyes. only 11 more full days where i have to show up at school. so sweet. except for the part where i have to do 50 million things. ergh. i'm going to fail. at least two of them are group projects. and at least the physics regents is the absolutely last thing. i have about two weeks to learn physics.

i noticed i stopped tagging my entries. 1. because i don't remember most of my tags 2. because i'm too lazy 3. because i don't really care. heh.

so, yeah. me and this guy are like actually the same person. except i don't have a penis. i'm not even really joking when i say we're the same person. and we could be like best friends. except we're not.

my life feels like a revolving door. and now /emometaphors

in other news. I REALLY WANT IT TO BE SUMMER. iowa+work+housing works+college tours+possible internship definitely makes for a really awesome summer. no joke. plus, i turn 17. r rated movies + one year until i'm legal. not that being legal really has anything to do with me. i like the movie thing. i'm still freaking PISSED about missing out on 300 in imax.

oh snap. i have a draft of an essay due friday. when did that happen?

so. lj is fun. mostly because no one from stuy is on it.

lolzerz is so a mood. it describes my life so well.

i haven't been using LJ much anymore because i've been having a torrid affair with twitter. twitter is actually perfect for me since i never really have something to post about on LJ so much as i have a bunch of small thoughts to put together.

go sign up for a twitter. they're cool.

http://www.twitter.com/xcaliginous ; <-- that's me. duh.

also, i might be getting carpal tunnels. i feel like i am. should stop using laptop so much.

i've decided i'm going to spend my summer publishing my own book. like entirely. not so much a book as much as an anthology of my own writing. it'll be a terribly limited run. seriously, like 10 books if i feel up to it. and then i'll give it to friends/send it to colleges to make myself look awesome when i apply. afterwards... if there's actually anyone who wants a copy then they can buy one.

ahhhhhhh this is going to be so much fun. i hope i write boatloads at iowa.

i've written a quarter of a page (single spaced) of... something... and it's complete trash. but you know what? that's okay because at least i'm writing something. at least i'm using words to try to create something original. and i do like small parts of it. you can usually find something mildly redeeming in a story.

however, it is trash. it's grammatically unsound in some spots. the vocabulary is terrible. it has no plot. no real, tangible characters. it's pure drivel. but drivel is better than nothing. and that's the bright point in my day.

seriously. guys are so funny. they write up these massive lists and guides as to how to avoid a relationship meltdown and how girls are so picky and complex, but i don't see it. granted, i've never been in a relationship, but i don't feel like i would be a picky or high maintenance girlfriend.

a blogger over at xanga just wrote a post about how to gift for a girl (xanga.com/chrishoi) and how guys will always have to set the bar higher for every gift. is it really that hard? i can't speak for every girl in the world, but i will be happy with anything that i want. usually i'd rather people just directly ask me what i want instead of trying to read my mind. i know i usually end up getting something frivolous and something that i would never actually want or use. if you get me a dvd of a movie i wanted, great. next time you can get me another movie i want. i won't be upset, granted it's a good movie. just don't get me a dvd for every occasion in the next decade.

i was called a "rare female" today because i mentioned i was too lazy to buy shoes. maybe i am. i dunno, i just think guys are hooking up with all the wrong girls.

what is it with young writers and writing flowery, vague things so often? i mean c'mon. it's okay once in awhile for yourself just to get things down, but to actually put it out there? it gets boring. i get bored reading it. just tell a story. tell it straight. if you're good you don't need the ridiculously vague cloud of metaphors and one. word. sentences. to make your point.

this comes from the person who hasn't written anything for the last three or four months. i'm seriously depressed. i'm all caught up in these garbage obligations to school. i think i'm just going to put it behind me right now. my goal is only to pass right now. i really don't care enough about school or college to make a big fuss over this.

dslkkjjdsatakmfdds  it always turns into a school rant. i hate it so much. it eats my life.

i'm downloading a bunch of new music. i pretty sure it's all be really good.

so far, the hush sound. THEY ARE SO GOOD. seriously, go listen. it took me 30 seconds to love them.

LAPTOP AND GO!

i think i'm finally, FINALLY getting it! i just bought a case for it. (well, technically my dad bought it. which means a lot more than if i went out and bought myself a case for no reason.) that has to be indicative of something. ah~ i'm so excited. i've been waiting for this for at least a year.